It was just as I expected. Day by day, I started falling in love with her, all over again. I trusted, I sacrificed; but there was nothing in return. I'm not asking for a return, but I expected her to know. Everything was fine, not expecting the unexpected; unaware; blinded. As days pass, I thought to myself, this is just getting better and better. It was all so perfect, everything. My mind was starting to be filled with her, her... her. Just her and nothing else. I foreshadowed, but i guess I made a mistake. I had imagined it to be perfect. Too perfect. I thought, just me and her. No obstacle in the way, no objections. Nothing. I did all I could for her - cheer her up, joke with her, chat with her. I was really unaware of what is happening, everything seemed nothing to me. Except her. It was then every night, i thought of her, smiled, and my mind just went blank so that I'd fall asleep. She emptied my mind, with her remaining. I was like in a hallow room, with nothing but darkness; until i saw light. As i got nearer, everything got better and better.
As it got better, my thoughts were overcame by the pain. The light just disappeared.
"What?! What happened?! What happened to the light?! Where is it?!"
I was scared. I kept telling my self, it's okay; I'll find my way out. And again I trusted. This time there was not a need to sacrifice; but trusting was beyond limitations. It was dependent on my mind. On how I wished to continue, or just fall deep down into straight darkness.
I could see doors, i visited them. One by one, not knowing what's ahead. Carelessly, I just went. I was overwhelmed. Suddenly, a glimpse of a beautiful scenery attracted and distracted me. It controlled my mind. I can't stop, I just went straight, without stopping.
All was nice, beautiful, and just seemed perfect. I was overjoyed by the happiness of nature. Just that few steps I took, I could see the sense of urge that wanted to come out of it. It seemed really nice. When I was enjoying the scene, just a blink of an eye. Just one blink; and it was all gone. All. There was a sign. I read it. It was a few sentence of quantity, but it made an impact on me. Everything changed from there. The beautiful scenery had now turned into a Nightmare. I didn't want to believe it at first, but as i thought, i found no sense of appreciation, no sense of Joy. Nothing.
It changed me, it changed the way i think towards you, it changed the way you look from my eyes. You were a nightmare, the worst anyone could imagine. I thought you would be mine, those words you said. I thought they were real. Even if they were, right now, you think I'd believe them? Let me ask you. Did you ever really loved me truthfully? Did you ever loved me scincerely? Did you ever cried for me? Even if you did. I don't think i could believe them. If you want me to believe, attest that what I said was wrong. Attest I'm at fault, then I'll believe you.
I trusted you! I sacrificed for you! I tried all my best to make you happy, cause i care for you. I'll tell you the truth, I LOVED YOU! But i guess you didn't appreciate that love that came from me. Never mind. You don't care? Well, I won't give a damn as well. Was this what you wanted? Was this your plan? Did you ever really love me? Or were you using me?
Someday i just with this would all be over, but i can't stop it. Love. It's one of the most strongest feeling you can never ignore, resist or be put aside at. It will never give up and will keep coming back. So, watch out.
Allen Iverson 11:09 PM
I Am Who I Am. You Can't Change It Nor Make It. So Since You're Here, Like It Or Not? For All I Care, I Don't Give A Shit!
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